Couples therapy can look and feel a bit different than individual therapy sessions. The therapist’s “client” in a couples therapy session is the relationship rather than an individual. Therapy is a shared space for you and your partner to navigate your feelings and experiences around your relationship. The therapist is there to help support and guide as each person works toward relationship goals. Here are some key aspects of couples therapy that you can expect to experience:
Assessment: When you first start therapy there is an assessment period. The therapist will meet with you and your partner to assess the relationship history, identify the presenting issues, and get to know you and your partner’s strengths. This can look different depending on the therapist but can include meeting with both of you at the same time, and each of you having individual time for more in depth assessment.
Treatment Planning: After completing the assessment, your therapist will ask you and your partner about some goals that you would like to set for the relationship. The therapist will then create a treatment plan that outlines those goals, and a timeline and plan to meet those goals. Typically I will tell my clients to give couples therapy about 6-8 sessions before determining whether or not they are seeing progress. Individuals can take a little longer to see progress when adding multiple clients in the room.
Skill-building and Problem-solving: Your therapist will begin working with each of you to improve communication, learn how to navigate conflict, and how to validate each other’s experience in the relationship. The therapist will help identify the conflict pattern that you may be experiencing and what specific issues to address within the relationship. Some examples include identifying and working to rebuild trust, repairing from infidelity, navigating financial stress, parenting issues, and/or creating a better balance in relationship roles that works for you.
Relationship Satisfaction: The therapist will help you and your partner work towards building relationship satisfaction by exploring ways to strengthen your connection, improve intimacy, and identifying what the relationship needs for a strong foundation. This step is all about creating a healthy and fulfilling relationship for each person involved.
There can be many outcomes of couple therapy depending on what you and your partner’s goals are when entering therapy. Overall the goal is helping each of you learn and implement skills that improve and support any type of direction you decide to take the relationship in. While you are in therapy your goals and needs may change, and that is okay too. Be open and honest with your therapist and your partner so that you can work together to adjust goals and expectations accordingly. Therapy is a process, so be patient and don’t get discouraged. Change is occurring and you will see the impacts of it, it just may look differently than what you are expecting.
